Life Explodes in My Kitchen

It's 7.51 am. I have exactly 4 minutes to finish blending my banana-pineapple-spinach smoothie (which is tastier than it sounds) and hustle the kids into the car so that I can drop the girl off at my friend's house and be at their school for an 8:15 meeting.

Moving from the house to the car always seems to be the critical moment for us, so of course, this has to be when things decide go from slightly messed up to completely pear-shaped. I've chucked too large a piece of pineapple into the blender, and it just won't liquefy. (Who knew 1/8th of a pineapple would be too big?) I fish it out of the blender and chop it into smaller pieces. Just as I turn around to add it back into the mix, I see my daughter. She's climbed a step stool  and her curious fingers are reaching for the on/off switch. And the cover is still on the counter.

"Nooooooooooooo..." Just like in the movies, I hear myself frantically warning her to stop as I lunge in slow motion toward the mixer. Too late. Green liquid churns and surges at turbo-blend speed then erupts into the air. It covers the ceiling, the walls, the counter, the floor, and my surprised two-year old.

That's when my daughter turns her face toward me, and I read the various emotions in her enormous saucer-eyes. There is unhappiness at being assaulted by a health drink, but also fear she might be in trouble for the mess. She appears so small, so vulnerable and sweet that it takes me by surprise. In that instant, both love for her and laughter at the situation bubble up inside me.

I quickly assure her it was just an accident, and my good husband kindly whisks her off for a change of clothing while I mop up the counter.

All day, though, I've been thinking about this, though. I never had these kinds of messes before children entered by life, but now I do. Frequently.

I guess my lesson learned for today is that life is messy, so I'd better go with it. Also, there is the obvious corollary -- never let a toddler near an uncovered blender.

Juiced! Week 2

Well, Week 2 of my juice fast (or juice feast, as the more positive folks like to say) is over.


I've really come to realize that over the past 40 years, I've developed some bad habits regarding food. Growing up, food was almost a sacred thing not to be wasted. It was also a discipline. When it was dinner time, we ate, and we couldn't leave the table until we'd finished everything on our plates. I'm not saying those were necessarily bad policies because it's important not to be wasteful, but I've definitely developed the ability to eat, whether I feel hungry or not.

Additionally, I've developed other bad habits over the years so that food has become more than a way to fuel my body. It's become a source of comfort, entertainment, a reward, a way to celebrate and to socialize.

A very positive aspect of this juice fast is that I've become much more conscious of what I consume and how it will actually nourish me. I'm more conscious of my body, too. If I consume too much, I feel absolutely sick. I don't think that would have happened before. Also, at the beginning of this experiment, I used to open the fridge constantly. I couldn't eat anything in it, but it was a habit, I think. In the last couple of days, that's mostly stopped. If nothing else, I feel that this experience has been like pushing  the reset button.

Anyway, here is a breakdown of Week 2 if you're interested in the nitty-gritty details.


Day 8
We were supposed to travel up to Boston today, but we had to cancel our trip. It's probably a good thing because I think I the thought of being this close to the North End and Chinatown and having to suck down a big glass of collard juice would have been too much.

Instead, I found new ways to torture myself. We went to the Korean store for a few things like rice and nori for the kids. When we checked out, the proprietor gave us a bag of red bean buns and a bag of Chinese honey pancakes. Fortunately, they can go into the freezer, but still... they're sitting there and calling to me. "Eat us! Eat us!"

Afterward, the oldest kid asked if we could go to the Lebanese store. That was even worse because they have a lunch counter, and the smell of falafel was positively drool-inducing. I grabbed some stew and Armenian string cheese for my husband, a bag of Toffix candies for the kids, and hightailed it on out of there as fast as I could.

Day 9
My daughter hasn't been feeling all that well since Sunday, so we've missed out on our usual walks, and I've noticed that I've started losing about a half pound per day instead of a pound. I don't know if this is just my metabolism leveling off or a lack of exercise.

A funny story -- I didn't feel like making any juice at dinner time, but my husband looked so disappointed when he found out that he was going miss out on his evening glass. So of course, I whipped up a fennel, green apple, cucumber concoction. He liked it. I didn't.

Day 10
I don't feel ill, but for the last 5 days or so, I've been waking up every morning with a throat full of phlegm (gross, I know). It goes away later in the day, though. More detoxing, maybe? Or am I just coming down with a cold because my toddler sneezed into my eyeballs?

Day 11 
Definitely a cold.

Day 12
Feeling better today. I've discovered some new favorite juices:

• Sweet potato, orange, ginger
• Parsnip, celery, and pear
• Collards, broccoli, celery, cucumber, parsley, apple, and kiwi

They the last two sound dreadful, but they're actually not that bad.

Day 13
I've jinxed myself. The morning was so mild and sunny that it was just begging me to go play outside, so the girl and I went for a nice long walk. I paid for it this afternoon with chills, sneezing, runny nose, watery eyes, and a general feeling of crumminess.

All I want is a bowl of egg flower soup like my mommy (yes, I just wrote "mommy") used to make for me when I was sick as a child -- without cornstarch because I don't like goopey soup. But I have one more day left, and even if I didn't, I still have to stick to fruit and veggies for two weeks to ramp up my metabolism and digestive system.

Oh, and the other bummer today -- massive breakout on my skin. Looks like I didn't miss out on the detox symptoms after all. Can I start this week over?

Day 14
Despite the cold, I don't feel tired mid-morning anymore, which is what inspired this experiment in the first place. My clothes are quite loose now, too, which is a nice fringe benefit as well. Total weight loss between last week and this: 12 lbs.

Read about Week 1.

I See You

A couple of weeks ago, I had a conversation with a friend of mine that I hadn't had a chance to talk with for a while. We go way back -- to the carefree days before being married with kids. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much in one sitting. At one point during our conversation, though, she stopped and said, "You're such a hoot! Do you remember when you..." Then she proceeded to recount various wacky things I'd said in the past. I'd completely forgotten, but she remembered.

Most of the time in my house, I feel my husband is the one with a sense of humor. I'm just the nudge who makes you eat vegetables, take baths, and who grunts like Marge Simpson in disapproval. It's nice, though, to have someone remember who you are inside. Who remembers that you can also be droll and unconventional and even downright silly.

And the great thing is that I remember all kinds of wonderful things about her, too. Sometimes I think that's the essence of a really great friendship. Knowing and being known -- and being able to laugh like a couple of lunatics.